I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
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