i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Randomize
