Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
