my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
