Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
