What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
