M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
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