I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
