ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
