I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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