i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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