I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
