had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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