Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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