Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
