that's an acceptable place to lick
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
