This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
