508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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