wat bout pragnant strippers??
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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