Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
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