I don't think brook has ever known best
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
All the doctor said was why
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
