You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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