so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
