Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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