the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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