Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
