Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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