So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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