You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
