ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
