Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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