I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
