I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
