i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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