Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Randomize
