The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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