she sounds like chewbacca in bed
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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