I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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