why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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