DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
