my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize