My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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