I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I am naked and annoyed.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Randomize
