Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
