What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
