I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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