love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
