this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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