ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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