my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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